Right when I'm at my strong point, he attacks. I'm ashamed to say that at the moment I feel like crap. I can't even say why. I really don't deserve to feel like this and I know that.
I shouldn't have to ask.. But if I don't it doesn't happen that often.. I just.. It hurts. Honestly. I can't talk to anyone about it...it sucks. Maybe I'll start keeping a journal.. So I can write everything out. No one willread it. It'll be me, being totally honest with myself.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Birthday
Today was something I'll never forget. What an amazing, uplifting experience.
Today was obviously my birthday. I got to play guitar, sing, and share my story tonight at The Escape at MGA. It was so great, people hugged me, said happy birthday, like everyone. I got chocolate and more chocolate and A guitar strap :). But after packing up my guitar I sat in the row talking to some of my friends, and everyone turned around and started singing Happy Birthday. Then they all hugged me, all at once. Interesting experience for sure! Then gave me this huge card that everyone signed and wrote something awesome. :).
I'm so blessed! Sooo blessed. It was so great to share my story, I think I've truly moved on. But if I have a bad day, or I'm feeling depressed, I'll just look at that card. So many people signed it and put positive things and thoughts in it.
I also got some free stuff at the mall for my birthday :).
I really felt the love from my friends tonight :). Thank you.
I've lived a whole year. I'm a full believer in Christ, and I strongly believe things happen for a reason. I'm here today for a reason.
Oh happy day.
Today was obviously my birthday. I got to play guitar, sing, and share my story tonight at The Escape at MGA. It was so great, people hugged me, said happy birthday, like everyone. I got chocolate and more chocolate and A guitar strap :). But after packing up my guitar I sat in the row talking to some of my friends, and everyone turned around and started singing Happy Birthday. Then they all hugged me, all at once. Interesting experience for sure! Then gave me this huge card that everyone signed and wrote something awesome. :).
I'm so blessed! Sooo blessed. It was so great to share my story, I think I've truly moved on. But if I have a bad day, or I'm feeling depressed, I'll just look at that card. So many people signed it and put positive things and thoughts in it.
I also got some free stuff at the mall for my birthday :).
I really felt the love from my friends tonight :). Thank you.
I've lived a whole year. I'm a full believer in Christ, and I strongly believe things happen for a reason. I'm here today for a reason.
Oh happy day.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Ipood
I was sinking
deeper and deeper into this vast ocean of sadness
my last breath bubbling to the surface
my body paralyzed
But the hand of God
scooped me up and brought me to the surface
You were there, listening to his instruction
you taught me to swim.
And for that, I thank you.
I hope you always find a reason to smile.
deeper and deeper into this vast ocean of sadness
my last breath bubbling to the surface
my body paralyzed
But the hand of God
scooped me up and brought me to the surface
You were there, listening to his instruction
you taught me to swim.
And for that, I thank you.
I hope you always find a reason to smile.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
One Whole Year
So, as you may know, I'll be seventeen in ten days. To everyone else it's just another day, another birthday. But to me, it marks the day I started my life over completely. If you go to the very first post on this blog, you'll read about my whole testimony. For a long time, years really, I planned on suicide. When I was young I planned it so on my sixteenth birthday I would kill myself and just end it. But thanks to God's divine intervention, I didn't.
So in ten days, it'll be a whole year since I started my life over. It's so huge to me.
I just want to take this time to say thank you. To everyone.
On another note, A couple weeks ago I went to this girls group thing where we really connect. I talked to the group leader, I knew I would share my testimony sometime, but I didn't know when. And she said "How does April 13th sound?" I pretty much got teary eyed, and said "Danielle, Danielle that's my birthday". She had no idea it was. I think that's pretty cool. So on my birthday I'll be sharing my story to a big group of people, just like I've always wanted. I hope my story impacts someone the way my friends story impacted me!
I really hope I can be that person to change someone else's life. When I'm old and wrinkled with tons of smile lines and have lived a happy life, I want to be remembered as the person who left a positive impact on others.
Yeah :). That's what I want.
So in ten days, it'll be a whole year since I started my life over. It's so huge to me.
I just want to take this time to say thank you. To everyone.
On another note, A couple weeks ago I went to this girls group thing where we really connect. I talked to the group leader, I knew I would share my testimony sometime, but I didn't know when. And she said "How does April 13th sound?" I pretty much got teary eyed, and said "Danielle, Danielle that's my birthday". She had no idea it was. I think that's pretty cool. So on my birthday I'll be sharing my story to a big group of people, just like I've always wanted. I hope my story impacts someone the way my friends story impacted me!
I really hope I can be that person to change someone else's life. When I'm old and wrinkled with tons of smile lines and have lived a happy life, I want to be remembered as the person who left a positive impact on others.
Yeah :). That's what I want.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Thoughts From An Ipod
I want to be wrapped in your warm embrace,
I want to go to my safe place,
Away from all the frustration, pain and anger surrounding me.
Everyday the things we face
It all Wears down our will to keep going on,
But I know I'll have you to lean on.
We'll both have him to lean on.
We say Lord take it take it
Why are you gonna break it
How can he take it
If we won't let go
The love I have for you,
Sings of sweet symphonies,
And peaceful remedies.
I've seen what love can do to two people,
It can bring so much heartache, the prolonging feeling of hurt.
But you've shown me this whole new perspective of love.
The sincere kisses
The innocent hugs
This feeling in my heart warms my entire body.
But this warmth is nothing in comparison to when we embrace
This is starting to sound so gushy
But strangely, I love it.
I miss him so much
My heart aches to be with him
To see a smile light up his face
I wrote that on my ipod about a week ago.. I suck at writing so.. Yeah.
I want to go to my safe place,
Away from all the frustration, pain and anger surrounding me.
Everyday the things we face
It all Wears down our will to keep going on,
But I know I'll have you to lean on.
We'll both have him to lean on.
We say Lord take it take it
Why are you gonna break it
How can he take it
If we won't let go
The love I have for you,
Sings of sweet symphonies,
And peaceful remedies.
I've seen what love can do to two people,
It can bring so much heartache, the prolonging feeling of hurt.
But you've shown me this whole new perspective of love.
The sincere kisses
The innocent hugs
This feeling in my heart warms my entire body.
But this warmth is nothing in comparison to when we embrace
This is starting to sound so gushy
But strangely, I love it.
I miss him so much
My heart aches to be with him
To see a smile light up his face
I wrote that on my ipod about a week ago.. I suck at writing so.. Yeah.
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