I've been writing in a private journal a lot more lately. I'm pretty sure what I feel and my words would offend someone out there, so I just keep it to myself in a journal.
Something is different, I can't really name it. I think I'm becoming depressed again. Crying for absolutely no reason, sleeping way more then I should. I mean, on Friday I slept in school, at a friends house, at youth, came home early and went to bed. The next day I slept until around 3 or 4 in the evening. Then Spent the day in and out of sleep on the couch. That night I went to a sleepover, then Sunday morning I stayed home from church and slept. Every day I've been taking 3 hour naps. I eat when I'm awake, and when I eat it's a lot. But I'm so weak and tired all the time. No motivation anymore. I went to a boot camp yesterday and pushed myself too hard, which would just be a normal workout. But the rest of the day I felt so nauseated.
That's just some of the physical challenges I've been having. My mind drifts off a lot. I can't concentrate in school, I just want to sleep. I can't talk normally to anyone. I find it takes a lot of effort in replying to anyone.
I found myself wishing today that I wouldn't wake up from the nap I was having.
Things are just going slow for me right now.
I have this gnawing feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Even though I'm with friends, talking and stuff, I still feel really alone. Like I can't talk to anyone. Something's missing.
I don't even know where this post is going anymore, I don't think I did in the beginning.
No comments:
Post a Comment