I Remember When..

     I remember when he told me I should run away and never come back. I remember not looking for a future. I remember all those nights of lying in my bed while he screamed at me to change, not knowing that I had a knife ready for after under my pillow. I remember needing to be needed by someone. I remember lying on my bed while staring at the ceiling for hours on end. I remember so much pain and sorrow... But now...
 I remember how nervous I used to be around you. I remember crying when I found out that this could possibly work. I remember that note you gave me way before any of this. I remember looking at you from far away and wishing that I could know you. I remember putting my heart into this, scared about how it would be held. I remember driving around with you, just talking. Then looking at the stars. I remember our fist kiss. I remember that night before my surgery when you called. I remember my 16th birthday, when I started over, and you were the first to show how much you cared. I remember that walk in the rain we had. I remember having something there... In my heart. I still have it. I'll remember and love you always.. right from the start. And as this turns into a poem that rhymes so sweet. Around my head spins hearts and birds *tweet tweet*. Now tis time to get back to serious, my thoughts oh so delirious. My heart is so full, overflowing like water in a cup for you...
this is starting to fail.
but I WILL PREVAIL
OK I'm just done.
OH did I mention that I love Ryan?
And that I really... really miss him.
And can't wait to see him next :).