You know that feeling? Not really loneliness.. Kind of melancholy, to an extent. I want to do something productive, anything, to get me out of the house. I feel like I'm waisting precious moments, but I feel too tired to. I'm always finding myself just sitting up against my bed thinking. I need to get out! Now. Before my mind ventures farther into these thoughts. I don't want to go back to that. I tried writing a song, playing my guitar, drawing, music... Nothing is working. My body feels like I can't move, like dead. And cold hah. I can't get warm. I'll go get some hot chocolate after... aha hopefully that works.
I don't feel like I'm good enough for others sometimes. I know people are busy sometimes.. And I shouldn't be so self-centered, but I wish more friends would realize that I'm not okay all the time.
Oh, and criticism, that's been happening a lot lately, maybe it's always been this way, but I'm noticing it more and more. I'm a people pleaser, if someone doesn't like me it kills me inside.
I'm not a drama-queen. I'm not looking for attention.. Where is the voice of reason in this family?
I really don't know where this blog post is going, I'm trying to get this off my chest but it seems I'm en capable.
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