Sunday, December 26, 2010

Raging Hormones

    I don't even know how to express how I'm feeling right now, just that I shouldn't be feeling like this. My heart feels heavy, and I'm really sad. I have no idea why! I should be so happy. Tomorrow is my 6 months with my boyfriend. It actually means so much to me... It's just a day... But to me, it's the best 6 months of my entire life. Like, it's really important....
Why am I feeling so crummy? I just had a really good day... Maybe it was the LOTR suggestions... I mean, I love it... but not tomorrow...
Given the circumstances, I'm also really tired and moody (Girl moody....y'know), so this could all be just a over-reaction. It probably is.
I just feel...  ... Hurt?
I don't even know.
Oh, and lately whenever people joke around, I know they're joking... But why does it hurt? Why do I take it to heart? I shouldn't. Honestly I'm feeling so ... dumb. I hate feeling like this.
I'm Just another hormonal teenager, trying to get her feelings out to feel better.
Man. BEING A GIRL SUCKS. Now I'm angry......THE MONTHLY VISITS CAN GO DIE IN A CORNER....FRIG.
Well, I can't wait for tomorrow. :) Just me and him. It shall be grand:).
I'm leaving town on Tuesday, I'll be back on Wednesday. I want to go but I don't. Ryan is here in my town... Not in Ed...And I'm going to Ed... Like this is a chance to be around him and with him... But..
CONFLICTING LOYALTIES!!! (Social term right there)

Another positive note; My Christmas was pretty great :). Felt like the longest day ever for some reason. Ryan got me 2 plushies :) I love love love them :) My gift was pretty lame, 3 shirts and a HALO LEGO SET...laaame:). But I can't wait for tomorrow :) 6 months already! I got him a pretty sweet gift, I hope it's not too corny... I am so looking forward to tomorrow :). Wow, reading this over it's all over the place! Raging hormones right here.
I guess writing about it really does help! I feel great now!

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